Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Earth to Rochester

The Subsidies made the arduous trek down to Rochester this past weekend and played at Rookies Sports Grill and Bar. While the crowd was, well, thin, we still had a great time playing. And water slides never get old. A few die hard fans came down to rock out, including Chris and Char Haschka, who, by the way, closed down the bar. Many props!

If you are a Rochesterian, err, Rochesterite, you need to check this place out. They get great bands, have a really nice sound system, a good stage, friendly (attractive) waitstaff, damn tasty cheese curds, etc. It's a little hidden, but it's worth the effort to find the place. Oh, they have a couple nice outdoor sand volleyball courts, too. By the way, Collin and I are part of a dominant volleyball team here in the metro. Our team is 31-16 on the season, and the playoffs start tonight (playoffs?! playoffs?!!!).

Thanks Minnow, Dave, Kevin, Lacy, and all at Rookies!

Thursday, August 23, 2007

The Subsidies Miles Program

We at The Subsidies HQ are proud to announce our new Miles Program, which will reward you for being a damn good Subsidies fan. Details of the program are yet to come, but the general concept is you earn points for various activities related to The Subsidies, and in turn, those points can be redeemed for great Subsidies prizes.

Sample activites:

-Attending a Subsidies show = 10 points
-Dancing for a full song = 1 point per song
-Wearing official Subsidies merchandise at a show = 20 points
-Displaying a 2'x3' sign that reads "Collin is HOT" at a show = 35 points
-Visibly not wearing a bra while at a show = 5 points
-Wearing a bra, but taking it off and throwing it on stage = 40 points
-Requesting "Freebird" or anything from Pantera = -10 points

The full list of activities and their corresponding point value will be released shortly, along with the items you can redeem points for.


Sample redeemable prizes:

- A hug that lasts just a little too long
- An official Subsidies thong
- A locket of blood taken from Grant's guitar
- An autographed Subsidies poster
- An autographed White Snake poster (autographed by The Subsidies)
- An itchy, yet treatable STD (based on Dave's availability)
- A brief glance up Laura's skirt.

Don't Be a Tool - Get Your Gear Soon

I have vivid memories, as a youth, of not being "the first" to have things; Girbaud jeans, pubic hair, hyper color shirts, nor transformers. One of the reasons for my being late in terms of acquiring goods was my having two older brothers who had to be "paid" first with gifts. My oldest brother would get a sweet pair of Jordans and pass them to my middle brother who would beat the shit out of them and finally, after wearing a hole or 6 in the sole, would pass said shoes on to me. Another reason, and more importantly I imagine, was that we, as a family, weren't rich. We weren't poor neither, but not well off enough to have every god damn thing I begged for, that's for sure.



Not being one of "those" kids with all the sweet gear to start each school year was and remained an issue for me throughout adolescence. I'd get a sweet ass pair of Guess jeans, but not until Dayton's had them on sale some time the next Spring - and these were the yellow or green jeans, not the money acid washed ones that my dad said he "could've made in the garage for me with a bucket of rocks and some bleach." He tried on 3 occasions, burning holes in my only good jeans, leaving me with cut off jean shorts. By the time, it seemed, that I received the desired material good, say a Rubix Cube, a DinoBot (Grimlock for sure) or a satin Georgetown Starter jacket, they'd be out of style and I'd look like one of those kids in Africa wearing a 1996 Utah Jazz NBA Champion hat or whatever losing team gear that we, America, shipped out.

To this day I still get shit from the "rich kids," such as our band leader Joe Lover who upon seeing my recently purchased mesh trucker hat said, "Hey Ashton, are you punking someone right now?" It's a tough deal, but it's my lot in life I suppose.

The point and what makes this relatively Subsidies-related is that we are getting to a point that many of our fans have purchased their Subsidies gear and will be wearing said gear this Saturday in Rochester, as well as next week at O'Gara's and all subsequent shows.
The Subsidies Classic Thong
Don't be me. Don't buy your gear too late and be "that guy" - be a cool guy - be like Grant and all those other cool kids and have the latest, greatest shit right! You don't want to be a square.

Well, I'm off to pick up my parachute pants.

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Heading down south

The Subsidies are heading down to Rochester, MN, on August 25 to rock Rookies Bar and Grill. This is an absolute party bar, and THE place to be on a Saturday night. Get your Subsidies gear on and sweat off a couple pounds with us. I've heard from several fans that they are making the scary 1-hour trek down from the Cities, so gas up the van and hit the road!

Swimming and Singing - Fun for the Whole Family

PRESS RELEASE
Karl Hassanamad - Associated Press


This Saturday, August 25th, local band The Subsidies, will be playing Rookie's Bar in Rochester as part of their continuing 2007 "Reliving Our Youth" Tour. The band, made up of brothers Joe and Dave Lover, Collin Hummel, Grant Wright, and Laura Van play an energetic/hip mix of music from the last few decades and today - ranging from QuietDrive to Johnny Lang to The Killers and more. Past crowds have enjoyed the band's energy and continued desire to do nothing but entertain their respective crowds ... get there early.

For those in need of accomodations this Saturday (one too many Red Bull vodkas, perhaps), Rookie's is connected, via futuristic "tunnel," to the Ramada Hotel in Rochester. Imagine starting your Saturday with a dip in the pool - and by "dip" we mean a crazy ride down the spiral waterslide of terror! Many a swimsuit have found their way up riders' butt cracks on this hellacious ride. With twists and turns, a rider never really knows where he or she may be, but know this; you will be scared.

Ramada Hotel & Conference Center -- Rochester, MINNESOTA, UNITED STATES

So... be sure to save some extra time before the show this Saturday to enjoy all that the Ramada, and The Subsidies, has to offer!

Ramada Hotel & Conference Center -- Rochester, MINNESOTA, UNITED STATES Ramada Hotel & Conference Center -- Rochester, MINNESOTA, UNITED STATES

Sunday, August 19, 2007

Rise from the ashes

As Collin so thoughtfully detailed below, my near catastrophic finger injury came close to ending my dreams of a rock and roll/pro football co-career. But, as I lie wrapped in ice, I have vowed to make a comeback of Corey Haim proportions. I WILL overcome my newly acquired handicap, in spite of the naysayers and children's screams of horror. I will overcome!

Oh, and it's my pointer finger. Come on Collin. I know UW-Eau Claire gives out free journalism degrees if you haven't "earned" a real degree after 5 years, but fact checking can be part of the job (unless you work for Fox News).

I want to thank you for all of the kind words and beautiful cards that I've received since my injury last Friday. With your undying encouragement, I know I'll be able to melt faces in Rochester this weekend.

Be the miracle folks. Be the miracle.

Football Career Over - Music Career in Jeapordy

Joe Lover, defacto leader of The Subsidies (Sub Sides) - a popular Minneapolis cover band, remains housebound today as he recovers from a horrific pinkie finger injury. Lover, 30, of Elk Mound, Wisconsin, a guitarist for The Subsidies, was doing his best Robert Ferguson imitation late Friday evening at a company event when he couldn't hang on to a thrown football (viewed by a large contingent of amused coworkers). Lover, known regionally for his penchant for all things Eagle Eye Cherry, said the accident was nothing more than a "bump in the proverbial 'road'," and that he would return 100% in time for next week's big show at Rookie's bar in Rochester.

"Technically I have 4 years of college eligibility remaining so I figured I'd see if I were in playing shape," recalled Lover as his wife, Janna, iced him down. "It seems my hands haven't stayed in "catching shape," said Lover using finger quotes to convey humor.
Lover, an excellent, if not braggadocios, guitar player, will need full use of his jammed pinkie finger the next two weekends as The Subsidies have two important gigs:

  • Saturday, August 25 - Rookie's Bar & Grill in Rochester - 9.30PM
  • Friday, September 31 - O'Gara's Pub in St. Paul (Split show with Summit Ave) - 9.30PM
Many of the songs covered by The Subsidies - ranging from The Killers to Kelly Clarkson - require excellent guitar skills, mainly due to their each having a guitar solo. A point which is not lost on fellow band member and defacto band sex symbol, Laura Van. "Joe better not wimp out, that's all I have to say," said Van as she practiced a series of sexy "looks" in her Ikea-purchased mirror. "He is the cog that drives the band, I suppose. If he's out, we'll be forced to rely on Collin's (Lead Singer) mouth guitar effects and I don't think anyone is ready for that."
She added, "Seriously, it's a jammed pinkie... get up and stop your bitching! I play in a mini-skirt!"

Lover, who vows to continue his football dream "soon," plans to spend the next week recuperating by laying around watching Tivo'd recordings of Scrubs and Dharma & Greg. "My wife will take care of me, if you know what I'm saying?" explained Joe with a wink.

No, not really Joe. Not really.