Litter for Litter's Sake

Would anyone mind if I were to open my driver-side window, when driving next, and throw an old TV or perhaps some discarded paint cans out?

I imagine the general response, aside from the derelicts in Mississippi or any of the bible-belt states, would be "hell no!"

Why then, I ask, is it acceptable for people to throw out lit cigarettes as they drive, watching as they careen off my windshield in all of their lit, bursting essence?

How many of you, like me, have been driving along, singing along to one of any love songs being played during the 102.9 "Delilah" show when all of a sudden, from the car ahead of you -usually a Pontiac of some sort - a small torch, one able to ignite a fire for the ages, comes zinging at you like some sort of Hezbollah missile? Why just last night, on my way home from picking up some Thai food, a Marlboro-missile came at me and burst onto my windshield, looking like some Michael Bay explosion. I actually shit my pants a little bit and swerved into the next lane. Luckily for me said lane was empty. This puppy must've had half of its life left as it was a serious "explosion."

The sad thing is that had I gotten into an accident because of this, it would've been MY FAULT - not the white trash a-hole in the Grand Am who threw it. He would've been able to keep driving back to his Rosemount trailer park and able to resume beating his wife for drinking the last juice box.

If I were to open my window and throw some old McDonalds' garbage out, I could and would be ticketed. Cigarette-tossers on the other hand get off Scot-free because their butts are environmentally friendly, aside from the obvious fire hazard of throwing a lit cigarette into some dry brush.

Next time this happens, I may have something ready for these bastards: I'll have a cup of gasoline and a few matches. I'll pull ahead of them, open my window, light a wick of some sort and toss this "grenade" out ye old window. I'll watch in my rear view window as the front of their car becomes engulfed in flames. "Ha, ha, " I'll chuckle as their car blows to kingdom come.

I'm not going to. maybe. No, I won't. Probably not. No. Yes. Probably. not. Maybe....